Our Info and Anonynimity

Frequently

Asked

Questions

• We are familiar with Zoom meetings and in-person meetings. What is a hybrid meeting?

  • Hybrid meetings are a combination of Zoom and in-person meetings at the same time and place. It allows everyone to participate in the same meeting.

• How do we introduce ourselves?

  • Bob: Hello, I am Bob in a relationship with Susie.

  • Susie: Hello I am Susie in a relationship with Bob.

  • If this is your first time visiting our meeting or your first ever RCA meeting, please mention this when you introduce yourselves.

• Do we share the same computer, or do we need separate computers?

  • Most couples share the same computer and sit next to each other.

• Do we need to turn on our camera?

  • We ask that you turn on your camera. While anonymity is important, the safety, security, and comfort of the other people in the group are important as well.

• Do we have to share?

  • You are not required to share on the topic or check-in. Also, if one person shares, the other person in the Coupleship can choose whether or not they also wish to share.

• Do we have to tell all of our dirty laundry?

  • You can share what you are comfortable with. No confessional moments are waiting for you or your partner here at Restoring Hope RCA. Being honest and tackling your problems as the dynamics in your Coupleship change is important. Often, this will direct what you feel comfortable sharing.

• Can I share about my partner?

  • We ask that you use “I” statements and discuss things from your point of view. A good analogy is, “staying on your side of the street.”

• What is cross-talk and why do we avoid doing it?

  • Cross talk is considered any interaction or interruption that distracts attention away from the sharing. This includes vocalizations, dramatic facial expressions, and body language, as well as verbally responding to the content. All sharing should be directed to the entire group and never to any specific individual, particularly a partner. This avoids several things, including triggers for partners and others in the group, shame, and guilt. This also helps Restoring Hope RCA maintain a safe environment that people want to come back to and continue to work on themselves and the Coupleship.

• What is the aqua-colored book, a.k.a. the RCA book that people are referring to?

  • It is the basic text that our program is built from. You can purchase a copy on the Recovering Couples Anonymous website here.

• What is a sponsor couple?

  • A sponsor couple is a couple in RCA who helps you and your partner tackle recovery. Sponsor couples can be viewed more as mentors. They do not fix a couple’s problems; rather, they act as a safe space for discussing hard topics and provide support and guidance when needed.

• How do we get a sponsor couple?

  • You do not need a sponsor to start in RCA. It is recommended at some point that you find people who seem to have what you and your partner need/want out of recovery. Reach out to potential couples either asking for their phone number in the chat or writing their number down and calling them later.

• I have someone’s phone number; do I call them on one or couple to couple?

  • It is generally recommended to reach out as a couple for almost all communication related to the Coupleship.

• Can we attend if we haven’t completed our steps in our individual programs?

  • You can attend RCA anytime if you meet our “S-fellowship” requirement and you and your partner are in a committed relationship.

• What is an “S-fellowship” requirement?

  • An “S-fellowship” RCA recovery group requires that at least one partner be in what is termed an “S-program.” Examples of an “S-program” include Castamonia, CoSA, ISA, SA, SAA, SCA, or SLAA.

• What if I don’t feel like sharing but my partner does?

  • This happens now and then. You would introduce yourself and share either on the weekly topic or check-in. After your share, your partner has a chance to share. If they choose not to, then they will simply introduce themselves and say, “I am going to pass.” No expectations, shame, or guilt should come along with passing.

• Can I attend RCA without my partner?

  • We ask that you attend RCA regularly with your partner for 3-6 months before you attend without a partner. This should be an exception to your regular attendance as a couple. An example is that your partner is traveling back home that day, and unable to attend the meeting, but you attend for recovery.

• Will there be a couple on the Zoom call that can answer questions and when can I ask them?

  • After the meeting there is typically a couple that will be more than happy to speak with you. If not, post in the chat asking for someone to talk to in the next week if you have questions.

• We are a LGBTQ+ couple. Can we attend and are there other LGBTQ+ couples?

  • Yes, you can attend. Restoring Hope RCA welcomes all couples in S-fellowship recovery. We have a diverse group of couples including LGBTQ+ couples.

• What is a chair couple?

  • The chair couple is a couple who has volunteered to facilitate the meeting for the current week. They read the main meeting program and ask for volunteers to read a few additional program readings. They will ask for a new lead and chair at the end of the meeting for the next week.

• What is a lead couple?

  • The lead couple is a couple who has volunteered to choose a topic and present it to the group for discussion. This topic can come from many different places. It can come out of the RCA book, something that is specific to something to their current situation, something they have been struggling with, a place where they need alternative opinions of how other couples are doing it, and many others.

• How often do you meet, and do you take holidays off?

  • We meet every Sunday regardless of holidays. The group size may be small, but it is always here for those in need.

• Can I attend another RCA meeting, while attending this one?

  • Yes. We always want you to have the support that you and your Coupleship needs.

• We are not married but dating. Can we attend?

  • Yes. Your marital status does not matter in RCA. If you are married, separated, dating, etc., and are committed to being in a healthy relationship, we welcome you as you are.

• Can I attend the meeting on a phone, tablet, or other device?

  • Yes. If you can get on Zoom, then you can attend.

• Do the people we see on here ever meet in person?

  • This meeting is based out of Houston, TX. Many original members do fellowship and meet outside of the meeting. Dinner or coffee is common and a great way to get support. Some good friendships outside of the program have grown from that as well.

• How long do we have to be in RCA?

  • There are couples in our group that have a few weeks under their belt and couples are approaching 10 years in this group. We like to say, you never graduate. You just keep coming back.

• Can I refer my friends to RCA?

  • If one of them is in an S-program or S-fellowship, they can attend our meeting. If they are not, they can attend just about any other RCA meeting in the world.

• Does this replace therapy, a counselor, CSAT, a psychiatrist, etc.?

  • This is not a replacement for anything you are doing individually or as a couple. Your recovery program will be specific to you, just like other couples’ programs and recoveries will be specific to them.

• Can we visit other RCA meetings when traveling?

  • Yes, and this is encouraged. Many of our current members make a point to visit RCA meetings when traveling throughout the country and abroad.

• What is the cost of RCA?

  • There are no dues or fees for RCA membership. All we ask is to donate what you want to Restoring Hope RCA for our group to be self-supporting. That can be one dollar, or it can be more. We have a donate button at the top of the website.